Signs found in Hotels around the world:
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.
In a
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During the time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Italian hotel brochure:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
Lisbon hotel:
If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence, please ring for the chambermaid.
Rome hotel:
Fire! It is what can doing, we hope. No fear. Not ourselves. Say quickly to all people coming up down everywhere a prayer. Always a clerk. He is assured of safety by expert men who are in the bar for telephone for the fighters of the fire come out.
Polish tourist brochure:
As for the tripe served you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed.
Moscow hotel:
If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it.
French hotel:
A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.
French restaurant menu:
Extract of fowl, peached or sunnyside up.
Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such is please not to read this.
Swiss menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up.
French swimming pool:
Swimming is forbidden in absence of the Saviour.
In a Vietnamese hotel room:
No cooking; No ironing; No explosives; No prostitutes; No smelly things.
You will be pleasant when you stay with us.
Vietnamese hotel menu:
Very angry crab.
